Friday, December 19, 2003

asa

asa yang kau tebar tak sedetikpun melemah
ikuti aku kemanapun aku melangkah

tiap kali kucoba tepiskan
semakin erat selubungnya di sekujur tubuhku

tiap kali kucoba kesampingkan
semakin pekat bayangnya di sudut hati


Friday, November 14, 2003

aku menyelam ke dasar samudera
biaskan pusaran ke lubuk hatimu
agar tergetar letak pijakmu
hanyutkanmu!

aku menyeruak belantara dunia
gemakan teriakku ke penjuru relungmu
agar tak lepas perhatianmu
padaku!

aku terbang menari ke angkasa
membuai awan ke kaki langit
agar jelas kau tatap angkuhku
acuhkanmu!

Monday, September 15, 2003

bila

diantara bintang aku menatap
mencari bayang dirimu entah dimana
ada apa dengan cintaku?
luapan gelisahku
pedih hatiku
tak mampu goyahkanmu

mungkinkah?
tak cukup keras aku berteriak
ungkap sendiriku tanpa hiburmu

kembalilah cinta!

Sunday, August 31, 2003

this poem i received from my faculty

... ... ...

what did you do?
why do we have a poem for you?

well, it has to do with a bike
which we, of course, like

all of the sudden and without a sound
you hit the solid ground

two bikes colliding
a perfect sliding

it resulted in some pain a bruise or two
therefore a little present for you

an award in your name
which will be added to the Master's hall of fame

hopefully you did not feel sore
and please take my advise, do not get in accident anymore

*smile*

note: the first two lines are hidden ;)

Saturday, August 30, 2003

farewell, my enschede...

never thought that this day would come this fast
never imagined that it would be this hard to be passed
however, the moment has come, at last
drawing this wonderful world into my past

but not even a wisp of cloud will i bring away
cause i'm the one to go and the world should stay
[joy, pain, happiness, sadness, laughter, and sorrow]
may this inspiring memories be with me
forever and impermeably

Sunday, August 24, 2003

whiter shade of pale

kayuh sepedaku, diterpa hujan.. lagi!
met the cold autumn rain...


kembali butiran air itu mencumbuku,
tumpahkan rindu!
samarkan jejak air mata yang sempat mengering
dan kentalkan debu diwajahku

[tapi aku harus menyambutnya!]

kembali butiran air itu memelukku,
erat! tanpa jarak!
menyelinap disetiap luka lama
dan sisipkan kebekuan di tiap lorong nadiku

[tapi aku harus menyambutnya!]

kembali butiran air itu riuhkan bumiku,
menggema keras!
manjakan gemuruh di hati
dan menawannya dalam kerongkonganku

[dan aku harus menyambutnya!]

lelah menanti wujud utuhmu
tak tahu sampai kapan kau ada disana, pergi,
dan kapan kau akan datang kembali

[kehujanan, biking from framework2home, what a rain!]

Wednesday, August 13, 2003

If I Reach Out For You...

morph into a mermaid, I swim!
relish a quiet noise by the sea.
let the waves lead me. and wash my tears.

[Just Wanna Be With You]

the wind blows me, I fly!
fearless, with my broken wings.
no gravity. light. empty. and lost.

[Just Wanna Be With You]

through the rain, I run!
coldness freezes my feet.
the thunder swallows my calling.

[Just Wanna Be With You]

world keeps moving, i don't give a damn!
laid lonely down beneath the darkness.
ashamed. scared. and tired.

[Just Wanna Be With You]

for heaven and earth
[Just Wanna Be With You]
but can't find a way to get there

...Would You Reach Out For Me Too?

Sunday, August 10, 2003

above all sadness

the autumn wind just blows
in my quite summer nite
as the old memory flows
though it's been so trite
but the pain still grows
along with the fright

dan kembali aku terbaring
diatas segala sedih


home sweet home, in remembrance...

Saturday, August 09, 2003

revere

dunno why i end up here
trapped in a terrible sphere
embraced by this odd fear
wish i could just disappear
coz the more i feel sincere
the pain would apparently rear
become more and more severe

Thursday, August 07, 2003

rhyme my world!

i have tried my best
for a million million times
just not to be obsessed
to tie these words with rhymes

but i always impressed
by the sounds it creates
though it makes me so depressed
and plunged in such desperate straits

help me help me get through this
don't let my feelings be enslaved

Sunday, August 03, 2003

written as an answer to a challenge of making a -happier- addicted-to-love poem, :)
and here it is...


~*~

fumbling towards ecstasy...

you are the morning adoration
a fresh dew to my heartache

you are the brightest shine of the sun
a light to the darkness of my shadow

you are the warmness of the sunset
a convection to my cold icy heart

you are my one twinkle star
a great inspiration to my lost soul

... when you step into my day!

Wednesday, July 30, 2003

for those who have mistaken my twinkle star and me...

~*~

don't judge me!

these words are truly mine
but are not truly me
they might indeed be a whine
but are just a part of me

i feel, i sense, i live
not just for the joyfulness
i listen, i care, i receive
not only the happiness

but i should be drain
i must not weep
though this unbearable pain
is only for me to keep

hence, in this kinda way
my twinkle star sets me free
retaining the sadness grey
not to be taken into me

so look deeply into my eyes
and seek for the sorrow
i dare you uncovering my disguise
right here right now to show

Tuesday, July 29, 2003

frozen

i was moving backwards
steadily fast returning home
by intercity, yester-evening

i could see in the field, the bunch of trees
running away from me
left me nothin but the freezin' breeze

[iced me within the hands of time]

i could see in the sky, the white clouds
drawning away from me
left me nothin but the freezin' shrouds

[iced me within the hands of time]

and though the sun got itself girthed, but i could still see
the bright shining path down to earth, as a blessing on me


[rotterdam-denhaag-delft]

Wednesday, July 23, 2003

Enschede Nite on July

pssst.. be quiet..
hear the whisper of the wind
callin out my name


"wake up and get up, dear
for the nite sky is so clear

breath the air and don't cry
for it's just another meteor passing by

feel the glimpse and don't defy
for the path would not gone by

so say goodnite,
not goodbye.."

[for all my dearest enschede friends, my meteors...]

Wednesday, July 16, 2003

Scheveningen

ada pantai indah tak berujung
ada langit cerah tak berbatas

menyeruku untuk berteriak,
for it's just like what i used to do,
tuk keluarkan galau bimbang isi hatiku

tapi aku hanya terdiam... pejamkan mata...
dan kurasakan angin membelai...



ada burung camar terbang rendah diatas rambutku
ada sisa ombak terhempas di sela-sela sepatuku

membujukku untuk ikut larut...
for it would wash away my tears,
tuk hanyutkan lelah jiwaku...

tapi aku hanya terdiam... pejamkan mata...
dan kurasakan angin membelai...



so fly me,
just fly me away from here...



Sunday, July 13, 2003

a query upon a rainbow

if only i could live through this rain
and knit my time for the sunshine

would a
rainbow ease my pain
til everything be fine?


- time by time... utrecht centraal-
Apeldoorn Sky

seharusnya, hariku cerah...

tapi entahlah

... angkasa tak mau berbenah

awan-awan itu masih saja berjejal disana!

awan mendung
awan hitam
awan putih

membuat penatku tak kunjung enyah!

12 juli 13:13

Thursday, July 10, 2003

Once Upon a Dawn

... d a n

anginpun berhembus
membawa awan putih pergi

meninggalkan angkasa
tanpa pesan

begitu saja

berlalu

h.e.n.i.n.g

...a remembrance, through time and space...

Sunday, July 06, 2003

...rapuh...

dalam ragu
aku
l u r u h

dalam diam
aku
h a n y u t

dalam sadar
aku
r a p u h !

[maka... maafkanlah hatiku, cinta...]


Thursday, July 03, 2003

from helen's poetry '98: "faisal"

unforgetable you

mengingatmu selalu, sal,
hadirkan bayang semu disisiku,
berikan aku keraguan dalam hidupku,
hapuskan satu harapan tentangmu...

kucoba melawan hadirmu...

diatas segala asa, mm...

~*~

lovable you

mengingatmu selalu, sal..
hadirkan senyum manismu dalam lamunanku
berikan aku semangat 'tuk memulai hari-hariku
wujudkan keceriaan dan kedamaian dalam hatiku

sayang kamu selalu...


Friday, June 27, 2003

to a wonderful star, I feel so blessed...

for the prayer said upon
for the ultimate inspiration given
for the endlessly support provided
for the love that never let go of me

and for never give me any idea that I couldn’t do whatever I wanted to do
or be whomever I wanted to be

a dazzling woman whom I received my life’s blood from…

to ibunda sri, my loving and beloved mom

Wednesday, June 25, 2003

by all odds...
such a two-sided mirror, of a world, of a living
fly in warmest joy but yet sink in freezing pain
strong, so strong but yet so vulnerable
be so stubborn but yet so devoted

just don't brake down today!

a mermaid, tryin 2 breathe...

Saturday, June 14, 2003

ternyata langit malam begitu mengesankan
meski kadang kelam tak berbayang
namun kadang penuh bintang nan cemerlang

cakrawala pagi juga menyenangkan
meski kadang berkabut pekat dengan gelisah
namun kadang membiarkan mentari bersinar cerah


puji syukur ke hadiratMu, ya Allah,
hidup ini luar biasa indah!


Friday, June 13, 2003

destiny

have i known
... that the thunderstorm would haunt my day

have i known
... that the stars would leave the my night sky

have i known
... that the mist would blur my sunshine

i would've walked this road anyway!!!

[misty morning in enschede]


hanya ada cinta...

diujung tangan
tak bisa diraih

didalam jiwa
tak bisa dicerna

ah, bila hanya ada cinta
kemana dia bisa membawaku?

lost

malamku seketika kelam
tak berbintang

cahaya bulanpun ikut memudar

angin menghembusku

entah kemana

... terbang
... ... melayang

tanpa tujuan

tanpa arah

tanpamu!


Thursday, June 05, 2003

kesah buat cinta

jangan usik lamunanku, cinta
aku hanya ingin menikmatimu tanpa lelah
... resah,
... ... gundah,
... ... ...dan gelisah

jangan renggut jantungku, cinta
jangan datang tuk titipkan beban
... keraguan,
... ... kesedihan,
... ... ... dan air mata

maka biarkan mataku terpejam malam ini, cinta
agar peri tidurku datang menghampiri
dan percikkan keajaiban satu mimpi

dan biarkan mataku terpejam, cinta
agar mimpi indahku tetap ada
mimpi indah tentang kita


... smile ...

Monday, June 02, 2003

j-louzy

opening the window of my heart
looking at the sky
for my dearest bright star

but the nite was so dark and quite

the star
and the moon
were hiding beyond the clouds

... no light...
... ... no wind... ...
... ... ... no pace... ... ...

thought i was lost
somewhere along the space!


Wednesday, May 21, 2003

untittled


let me be your light, princess...
to melt the crown of darkness,
for darkness is the absence of light.



so be my light, my prince...
but just love me for me,
for darkness is all who i am.


Monday, May 05, 2003

lovely white clouds

awan putih mengarak kemenangannya melintasi langit
tersenyum manis pada dunia
teduhkannya dari terik sinar matahari siang ini
biaskan satu asa yang sejukkan hati


bilakah angin menghembusnya pergi?


groningen day sky

Wednesday, March 05, 2003

Cold Rain in Early Autumn

i was with wonderful rain
it's so damn cold
but i couldn't resist the charm

so, i've got to love rain
i closed my eyes

let the cold water kissed my face
and let no word comes out

let the chill wind embraced me tight
and let no sorrow goes out

let the rainy world breathed me
and let no choice left out

oh i love rain
i just love rain
cuz i can dance in cold
like what my heart always do

oh i adore rain
i just adore rain
cuz i can cry out loud
and no one knows that i always do

i love rain
above all sadness

... ... ...

~*~

A Reprise for Cold Rain in Early Autumn
by AA


when the autumn comes
destiny knocks at my window
say a wisdom

and melted the entire me
turned me to become cold rain

and charmed u with my mystical beauty
paralyzed u with my frozen spell

so u've got to love me,
the cold rain in ur early autumn

then close ur eyes, princess

let my cold lips kiss ur face
and let ur words come out

let my chill arms embrace u tight
and wipe your sorrows away

let my rainy blood breath u
and give u new hopes

oh love me, princess
just love me as ur autumn rain
and dance with me
like what my heart always dream

oh adore me, princess
just adore me as ur autumn rain
and let me wash your tears with mine
like no one ever did

and let the world sees
that I am ur autumn rain
...................


with my love

Tuesday, February 25, 2003

the past


langitku cerah
saat angin kencang berhembus membawa awan gelap,
yang mengaburkan pandanganku,
dan hempaskan aku...
ke angkasa kelam tak bertepi,
disiksa kilasan balik peristiwa lama,
yang sudah rancu dengan harapan usang...

namun aku bukanlah aku,
bila aku tak bisa menengadah angkuh,
dan tersenyum pada kedukaan yang ditebarkannya...

(sigh) toh...
bukan ini yang jadikan pedihku,
bahkan bukan ini yang jadikan resahku,
jadi aku takkan biarkan jiwaku tenggelam didalamnya...

this too shall pass...

Friday, February 21, 2003

tentang seni

Seni itu indah,
walau kadang begitu sederhana
hingga kita bisa mudah melewatinya begitu saja
atau terkadang justru larut didalamnya
kadangkala juga begitu sukar difahami karena melewati batas imajinasi.
Seni adalah sesuatu yang dianugerahkan Allah untuk melihat kekuasaanNya
dengan tulus dari mata hati.

Saturday, February 08, 2003

the sky above the sky

I see me sinking through the dark nights
when the stars leave the sky
give up the lights give up to try

But the gloomy river said
its nights are darker than mine
since there’s no moon willing to shine

Then the trees whispered the story of the darkest nights
when the clouds keep blowing in between
the deadly freezing winter wind

we’ll always have our own darkest nights
but only if we let our eyes free to see
it’s never been darker than others, truly

(Romeo & Juliet, Kissing you, Instrumental)
above all sadness. enschede, end of january 03


winter wind is blowing

The tree lost its leaves
The earth lost its warmth
The world is pale and frozen

for coldness and loneliness

(for the griefs so lively shown
made me think upon mine own)

tanya

sesak
... pedih

sunyi
... dingin

ah, mengapa kau disini cinta..
mengapa kau memelukku begitu erat?

Paripurna

keajaiban datang membuka hati
tebarkan satu keagungan rasa dalam jiwa

[dimana yang seharusnya tidak ada menjadi ada dan yang seharusnya ada menjadi terlupa!]

keajaiban meraja dalam hati
hadirkan bahagia yang tak terkira

[sekaligus torehkan nestapa disaat yang sama!]

keajaiban pun terpuruk di relung hati

tak sanggup bertahta,
namun tak mau melayang pergi

tak bisa ada
namun tak mau sirna

hanya termangu dalam buaian asa
detik demi detik
menjelang
p.a.r.i.p.u.r.n.a


hanya catatan kecil tentang cinta
kala rintangan berjuta
saat cobaan memaksa

Thursday, February 06, 2003

New world of mine

keajaiban memapahku pergi tinggalkan lara dan penat
berikan aku dunia baru
dimana sungai mau menjadi sahabat baikku
membagi tenangnya tuk hibur aku
temani aku nikmati indahnya dunia
juga merayu bebek yang melintas
tuk melukis senyum di bibirku

b e g i t u d a m a i

tapi daun mulai menguning
anginpun berhembus semakin dingin
meniupkan kilas bayang usang di alir sungai
menjelma menjadi lara yang kembali menyapa
mengantar penat yang rindukanku
mengajakku menari..
berputar..
berdansa dalam pilu

dan kembali aku terbaring letih
diatas segala sedih


Wednesday, February 05, 2003

My beloved star

A bright bright star
in the far far away sky
blowing the wind drying my tears
shining on me like I’m the only one